Redshirt Game Review

Redshirt is a cunningly disguised depression simulator based on the unlikely combination of Sci fi and social media. You play as a hapless socially inept loser on board a space station full of friends who are destined to hate you. Study, party and screw your way to the top in this mildly entertaining take on the social media experience. Full of beautiful references to science fiction, repetitive whining from the crew and the realisation that no matter who or what you end up sleeping with, you are going to be annoyed, depressed and badgered into expensive dates, or he she or it will cheat on you with your best friends and or coworkers. Leaving you a depressed shell of your former self. Don’t worry, you can use your ex as a human shield later.


All is not lost though, because something bad is happening on board, and no one is talking about it. But it’s probably a good idea to get out of dodge before whatever happens happens.


You start out the lowest of the low, struggling to earn a wage. Before you know it, you’re adding friends on Spacebook and you’re happy for the first time since you downloaded the game. But what’s this? Career progression? You can earn enough to afford to eat and party with your new found electronic friends? Hell yes! Before you know it, you’ve got more friends than you can handle, and all of them hate each other. Jealousy is tearing your social relationships apart and everyone wants to sleep with you apart from the girl you want to sleep with so you can get a better job. Once you actually sleep with her and apply for the job, she realises what a miserable worthless sack of crap you are and breaks up with you driving you into a deeper depression.


Your friends start turning on you because you’ve neglected them as you wine and dine the worthless flesh sacks and erotic cubes you date who need your constant undivided attention or they will break up with you. Desperate, you invest in a robotic cat to keep you happy, but your miserable life and worthless career drag you screaming into the quagmire. 


Every item you buy will break after a few days if you don’t constantly pay it’s repair bills leaving you unable to hang out with anyone. I like to think of this as a depressing rent simulator. Despite your charisma rank being higher than ever and the game promising you you are loved, everyone hates you, especially your best friends you left for a better career.


Redshirt is an accurate take on social media, and a realistic take on humanity. It will make you sad, lonely and depressed. once you have won, lost or logged off, never to play the game again, uninstalling the frigging thing so you never have to date another   Emoid again, you feel elated, you go out, into the world and feel the sun on your face and the air on your skin. You realise life isn’t actually that bad. I love you my loyal subscribers, thank you for tuning in. All in all the game isn’t bad, despite the confusing tab structure, and I give it a solid 5/10.

Alex O’Neil

I am a blogger based in the UK. I work as an SEO specialist and Web Designer, and my hobbies include making small films and writing music.